Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's Friday. Sex?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize