There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
