Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize