hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
