his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize