I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
