I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
