We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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