im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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