Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
