i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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