I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize