wanna go halves on a baby?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
