I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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