I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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