butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
