porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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