we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
