is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
