I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
