I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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