Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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