He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If I die, sorry about rent.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
