found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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