Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
