I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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