I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize