No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
