doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
