Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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