She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
