if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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