pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize