I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just had sex on a roof
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize