the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize