I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
