what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
