So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
