So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I've blown a few things in my day
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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