Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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