Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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