Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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