u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
