just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
