I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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