i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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