Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
