When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
