If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i think im in europe. pls send help
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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