didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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