She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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