It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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