Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
