I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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