You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
