I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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