So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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