Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i came on her dog
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
