Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
