We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's never too late to be topless.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
